My name is ****. I am a Nigerian. I hail from Imo State and I am a graduate.i got married to my husband last year and ever since it has not been smooth for me. i have never know peace, happiness or joy and it has not been easy. Since we got married, we have been praying to God for our own children looking unto God. We have tested medically and spiritually and they found nothing with me, medically, nothing was found wrong with my husband, but spiritually, our pastor said that he should go into his past and check himself...
That did not bother me, as i loved him so much, i let all go.Quite frankly he told me he had a girl child prior to my traditional wedding and his business is not a straight one. I condoned all this, not knowing he has more than one child (2 female children outside) he does not say much, and so he is quite secretive. He goes out and comes back late every day, he does not provide for me, he left my mom to cater for all my expenses which i know is not right. he has been doing me all wrong until lately, we had a brief misunderstanding and he took me to his family to lash out on me. His claims were that i don't sweep the whole 2 storey building stairway and 3 bedroom flat for him everyday, i don't often cook, and i don't wash his underwear. His family nearly beat me up they called me all sorts of bad names, insulted my mother and threatened to beat me up if i continued... I asked them what i did to them that was wrong and they had nothing to tell me, instead that i am too arrogant and proud, also disrespectful..
I asked them if the way their brother was when i just married him was how he is now as per cooking, and also when have they ever come to my house and i chased them away or refused them entry??? that instead i did not like how they barge into my house without calling my husband or i just because they kept a boy, 29 years older than me in my house living with my husband and i who always opens for them whenever they come calling. Sometimes as early as 6:00am in the morning they are in my house unannounced, and sometimes, in my absence, they come cook whatever they want, regardless of what i cooked down in the freezer.
I asked them if it was right for my husbands cousin to operate my kitchen more than i the wife, if i cook what the family is going to have for breakfast, lunch or dinner, my husband's cousin goes into the kitchen and cook for himself whatever he wants to eat. Regardless, my so called husband was still cheating on me even after my marriage with eight(8) women, even though i smelt a rat, i kept my cool as a virtuous woman and a God fearing christian.
All they could answer me is that " I should let him be, that he (my husband) is a man, an African man for that matter. Please i want to know if it is right what he did to me and for leaving him, because his concubines are beginning to give threat calls and messages.
i can't continue with him, because i am not happy, he even deprived me of working after my parents sent me to school to get a degree, and not that he provides for me or anything, he just wants me to suffer.
Fine, i may be headstrong at times, and wrong in one or two places, but i know i am a good woman. I don't compromise and have never cheated in my life, but he chose to repay me this way. Please i need your advice ASAP! i want to know if i am my own problem or if he is just mean.
Thanks...****.
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